Here's the deal...we at SECP really thought our quest to find the perfect Pooner might take awhile. 2, 3, 10, 20 years - you know, a pretty involved process. Well, since SECP's release to the entire galaxy just 8 short days ago, this gem found its way to our mailbox (take your eyeballs back to the image just to your left that you stared at for the past 5 minutes before reading this crap).
Is it over? Do we need to go ahead and just shut 'er down? Have we found the Perfect Pooner? Let's examine: we have big the designer sunglass - check, the long bleach blonde hair - check, earrings each weighing more than a slab crappie - check, the plunging neckline - check, tic-tac smuggling through the team colored dress - check, 8" orange guava bolster - check, team pom-pon - check, and finally the look of "ho-hum" on the pooner's face as Brandon Cox hangs another 100 on the Tide - check plus.
This is a democracy so we will put it in the hands of our already faithful SECP followers...weigh in on the comments section if you think we need our heads examined - it's entirely possible whether it's related to this posting or not.
Have YOU have found the perfect pooner? Send it to us: email@example.com.